I’ve spent a lot of time doing yardwork this week – I mean, a LOT of time. In the past seven days, I’ve cleared all the leaves from the lawn, prepared the vegetable garden for planting, cleared the flower beds, and even removed the leaves from the garbage area on the side of the garage.
I filled every paper bag we had, and then some – Just ask my husband, who traipsed them all to the dump for me this morning. I’ve been out there working every day while my son napped and over the weekend while he was watching basketball with my husband. Right up until today, when the rake broke.
Is it silly to clear leaves in March? I mean, pretty soon we’ll just run them over with the lawnmower. And once the hedges and other bushes bloom, you won’t even be able to see the leaves underneath them. Maybe it is a waste of time - I don’t know.
Regardless, clearing the yard has been immensely satisfying for me. I work out often, but there is something uniquely satisfying about the exhaustion that comes with productive yardwork. I love looking out the window and seeing the finished product. I love watching James explore our lawn for the first time.
My mind has been busy while I worked out there. In the wake of changes in the life of someone close to me, I can’t help but reflect on the biggest turns in my own past. I think it’s normal to think back over your own history in these situations, although it’s not always advisable to share these musings with someone dealing with their own shifting life. (insert winky emoji here)
So, while I dug the leaves and old debris out of the bottoms of our bushes, my mind has been swirling with thoughts of places I’ve been before. I’ve remembered things that used to feel so important, but no longer hold a place in my life. I’ve reflected on relationships that felt perfect until they ended, and the way their old significance fell in the face of the one I’m so lucky to have now.
I’ve thought of places I’ve lived and loved and the people I cared about in them, while I filled bag after bag with old sticks and leaves. I thought of my two major career changes and wondered (again) if I made the right choices. Who changes careers twice by age 30? Me, apparently.
As I cleared the remnants of last year’s garden and prepared it for new life, I thought of the little baby we made last year. Just thinking of how much he has grown and how much growing he has left to do is making me smile right now as I type this. He’s everything.
And when I finished each phase of the yardwork and looked out over my handiwork, I let go of all these thoughts and reflections. I like to feel them slip away, out of mind for the time being. Just like the new flowers starting to bloom in the now-clear flower beds, the life we have is as close to perfect as anything can be.
This is where I wrap up my reflections on yardwork and change. I don’t know if I believe that everything happens for a reason or any other similar mantra.
Regardless, I believe the big changes in my life, although frightening at the time, have all brought me exactly where I was meant to be: in my little house, with my little (growing) family, and our nice clean backyard.
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